Have you ever thought about what is at the root of this worry or anxiousness? Are you focusingon the future and feelings? God provides us grace for the moment and according to James 1:5, “God gives us wisdom for the asking.” Do you fear how your children will turn out; what type of adults they’ll become? Let’s look at some of these mindful patterns of thinking.
I have noticed during my 30-plus years in education that parents have become increasingly anxious. When I left my full time work at a Christian school nine years ago, I never heard the words ‘anxious and children’ in the same sentence and now, many books are written on the subject. What’s driving this parental and childhood angst? Are tendencies toward perfectionism, undue pressure over comparison, or social media causing this angst? We look at our children and wonder about grades, college acceptances, jobs, and so forth when he or she is only in preschool. Do you see how far-reaching our worrying can travel? Instead of allowing children to learn from challenges and disappointments, we shield them and snowplow the road due to our angst. If this is difficult for you, ask the Lord to show you what’s in your heart in terms of being overly worried about your child.
Prioritizing spiritual formation and character development no matter how many setbacks the road provides is wise. Take God at his Word as James says, “God gives us wisdom for the asking.” I can’t think of anything that is needed more in the rearing of children than God’s wisdom.
We tend to operate in ‘what ifs’ instead of trusting that our walk of faith in the Lord will impact our children. I can say for certain that my mom never once grew anxious about raising us five children, nor did she see her worth wrapped up in our accolades or lack thereof. She showered us with equal amounts of love and discipline and allowed the good Lord and her own common sense to dictate the day. We were not the sole focus of her life; our family did not revolve around the children’s activities. We witnessed the work ethic of her as a housewife and my dad as a farmer, and saw their involvement in our church, their community, local politics, the PTA, and their friends in need. We knew we were loved, but we were not front and center. We were simply one spoke in the wheel of their marriage and service-oriented lives; certainly, an important one, but not an all-consuming one. As the parent, you are the leader in the home, setting the routines and expectations.
It has been said that many people trust in worry more than trusting God, and yet God’s Word tells us to be anxious for nothing. It’s no wonder that we feel apprehensive when we measure our troubles against our ability to handle without the empowering of the Holy Spirit. But when we submit and surrender to the One who works all things together for good, we know that we can trust our loving heavenly Father and His provision for each day. I find great solace in setting my mind on Scripture. For example, Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This is a good one to write on a sticky note, to meditate on, and to memorize. Another verse I love is Isaiah 26:3, “You (meaning God) keeps him (meaning you and me) in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he or she trusts in You.”
The thing about God’s beautiful design for our minds is this: we can only think of one verse, one thought, one angst, one joy-filled moment, one heartache, or one challenge at a time. That gives me all the encouragement I need to take my thoughts captive and set my mind on God’s Word. His Word cancels out my negative and anxious thoughts!
When we become anxious, we should trace our thought-life back to what preceded the emotion whether it was worry, doubt, or fear. Ask yourself, “What thoughts caused those emotions?” Commit that thought to the Lord and thank Him for this Scriptural truth in Philippians 4:8 which says, “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything is worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” According to this passage, we should not dwell on the thoughts that cause us angst. God wants us to capture those thoughts without dwelling on them and replace them with dwelling on the truth of His Word. His Word gives us the confidence to trust Him not only as our Savior but also for each day’s problems. This is active work because our mind is the battleground for victorious Christian-living. Let’s agree to repeat Scripture to ourselves and post reminders around our homes that lead us into setting our minds on God’s faithfulness and trustworthiness and not on our fear.
