How Can I Teach My Children To Be Grateful?
I recently received an email from one of our dear parents who asked this very question. Before speaking to the question, I first gave a high-five for centering her heart on this all-important issue. This is how one family learned that saying no can lead to life’s biggest yes. The following are nuggets taken from Raising Grateful Kids.
There is medical and scientific proof that an attitude of gratitude makes us healthier.
Parents who want to rear more grateful kids need to start living grateful lives and the best way is by modeling in word and deed, showing gratitude for the small things that are not materialistic in nature. For example, show gratitude for a kind word from a clerk, a beautiful sunny day, breath in our lungs, pillow and blankets, ample and tasty food.
Dinner table discussion: name one thing for which you are grateful today – nonmaterial.
Social media is the perfect storm for perpetuating discontentment. It’s a comparison trap.
Teach your children to write thank-you notes by coloring or drawing pictures. When a friend of mine brought our grandchildren small gifts, I made sure they drew sweet pictures as thank you notes. I sent them all off in a folder that she dearly loved receiving. Our own children learned that it was incumbent upon them to write thank you notes before spending the money or playing with the gift they had received.
Teach that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17) and through the hands of others.
As your children grow, teach them to be others-centered by serving those in need – baking cookies for a shut-in neighbor or the local firefighters.
Teach the value of money and the difference between need and want. As they grow older talk about the family budget – include the principles of giving, saving, and spending.
Teach delayed gratification. Even if you can afford it, it doesn't mean it is the best idea.
Eat rice and beans one night a week to remind ourselves of how others live meagerly.
Teach your children that in our world there will always be someone who has more (material goods) and those who have less. We are not to compare, but we are to be grateful for what we do have and thank God for our blessings.
Raising children to be content is going against the tide of culture. Saying “no” when you could say “yes” to something a child ‘wants’ is difficult. Surround yourself with like-minded parents who want the same for their children and share tips with each other.
Every so often instead of buying ice cream or Starbucks, how about using that money, drop it in a cup, and when it has reached a certain amount, use it to bless someone who has much less. This is a great way to practice self-denial and a heart for others.
Talk to your children. Say something like, “Sweetie, I would like to take you to ____________ or buy you ____________, but Daddy and I have decided that this time our funds are going to be used for ___________. Tempers might flare. Hold your ground and KNOW that this is wise.
Show your children other ways that you love them instead of so many gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Practice purging toys. Take toys to a resale shop for another child to enjoy or simply give them to those who have much less.
Be like-minded with your spouse, and then take small steps toward new ideas. Model an attitude of gratitude (Eph. 5:20, Col. 2:7). And be sure to use these magnificent two words often in your home. “Thank you!”
I love the Shoebox ministry sponsored by Samaritan’s Purse. It is a wonderful way to include children in the act of giving basic gifts to children who have so little. I do hope you talked with your children about the boxes, and you allowed them the joy of giving by selecting the gifts. It is a perfect way to launch a conversation about what children in these countries receive for Christmas and the smiles these basic items bring.
At this time of year, I want to express my gratitude for being allowed to serve you at Redeemer Day School! As G. K. Chesterton wrote, “When it comes to life, the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” I take serving you at RDS with a deep sense of gratitude. May you and your family have a most blessed Thanksgiving!
