The Science Behind Raising Successful Children Part 2
In last week’s mentoring moment, we learned that through years of Harvard research that adults who had childhood chore responsibilities demonstrated excellent time management, a strong work ethic, and better relationship skills. The researchers also found something that absolutely aligns with a biblical worldview, and it is this: “They understood that a meaningful life comes from participating in something larger than themselves – whether family, workplace, or in their community. Furthermore, they discovered that these children became adults who naturally contributed to other’s welfare.” This reminds me of selfless living – the gospel lived out in our lives; a mission greater than ourselves. I find this fascinating, but I am not surprised. God’s ways always produce fruit – in our lives and in the lives over which we have influence. The researchers wouldn’t necessarily phrase it this way, but those of us who know would.
Children who understand their role of contributing to the welfare of the family, are more willing to be cooperative rather than seeing the chores as punishments or burdens. Children love helping by doing chores that matter! I think chore charts are great, and pictures or drawings can be used for a child who is not yet reading. Star stickers placed on the chart by the child can be fun and give a sense of accomplishment. Timers can be used to keep the child engaged in the task, if necessary. One teacher I knew always played the piano to signal to her students that it was time to clean up and take a seat. Music makes everything more fun!
Another tip is this: build on a child’s natural tendencies or interests. Love pets? This child might excel at pet care responsibilities. Love cooking in the kitchen? Allow this child to help with baking cookies, taking them to the fire station or neighbor. Try sitting down at the dinner table without plates and silverware. This allows a child to understand the significance of this seemingly simple, but important task! Speaking of pets, my daughter and her family decided to give a foster dog a home for a few weeks, which cut down on the commitment. It is a little hard to send the dog back to be adopted, but that’s a learning experience, too. The children’s ages: 6, 8, 10 for reference.
Model the mindset you want your children to develop when it comes to household tasks. For example, teach your older child about weekly meal planning and grocery shopping. Which comes first? Teach your child to lay out tomorrow’s clothes so that mornings run smoothly. Littles can match and fold socks so that getting dressed is easier. Could the table be set for breakfast before bedtime? Every task completed and every little contribution builds neural pathways that will serve your child well in all areas of life. Some of you are more naturally gifted in time management and organizational skills. Could it be that you were assigned chores growing up, or did you learn this from parents who excelled at managerial skills? Or, both?
Start small and do not require your child’s bed to be made like you would make it. Perfection is not the goal during these younger ages. If you do for a child what he or she can do for himself, you are robbing him of building confidence in task completion and the joy of contributing to family life. It will take longer and requires patience, but do this for the sake of your child.
