Summer Rhythms and Routines
May is approaching and soon your children will be out of school so now is a good time to begin planning your summer schedule. Perhaps preparing for your summer comes easily to you, or perhaps it feels a little overwhelming. Some moms will be working away from home, some will be working part-time, and some will be home full-time. Regardless of your situation, planning is key and talking with your children about summer-time is important, so they are secure in what to anticipate. If they are acting a little uneasy, the thought of their school-year ending and the idea of leaving their beloved teacher is unsettling, so begin planning and discussing now.
Home routine – consistency is key for snacks, meals, chores, playtime, rest or nap time, devotional time, quiet time to look at books or entertain self in a quiet place (bedroom), and activity times. The most important thing is that you set the schedule for what works for you considering the ages of your children. You’re in charge, not your children. They will fill the void if you’re not proactive in this regard. Strong personalities will want to dictate the day and if they do, you will be exhausted before noon. Your mindset and pre-planning efforts are important to a successful segway from school to summer. Rear your children with assurance of your authority! It is given to you by God.
Mindset of routine – Children do well with routine. Daily routines and rhythms provide consistency and structure for children. They love knowing how their day will unfold; this provides a sense of security for their little lives so talk with them about summer routines. Take the time necessary to practice the habits you want to establish. Be the authority, knowing God has called you to this role of motherhood. Where He calls; He equips. Ask for wisdom; He’ll give it to you. Sometimes your schedules change, so teaching your children flexibility is also an important skill. Teach that disappointments are perhaps God’s appointments; our attitudes matter when we need to pivot.
Chore time – who is old enough to do what? How about making a chore chart now while you have time? Teach the importance of being a family member who contributes instead of one who merely consumes. This teaches teamwork and service to others. Taking on responsibilities builds confidence in children; never do for a child what he can do for himself. Doing so says to a child that Mom or Dad doesn’t think I am capable. The bed might not be made to perfection, but remind yourself of what’s most important. Teach step by step what you expect in terms of chores.
Devotional time – summer is the perfect time to memorize verses together. Devotional books or Bible stories can be read anytime during the day, not just at bedtime. You could use a star chart for this memory accomplishment. The Greybobby app is a great story time app which has adorable characters who teach biblical principles and could be a great nap time listen.
Read / Cuddle / Rest or Naptime – Perhaps each day might not lend itself to this rhythm if you have afternoon activities; however, when it does, this time creates space for your child to slow down. Children don’t realize they’re tired, but you do, and you know what they need! Hot weather adds to fatigue, and a fatigued child has a difficult time managing emotions. Melt-downs happen. Sugar can add to outbursts. I finally discovered over time that one of my children had an increased sensitivity to sweets, particularly ice cream. This happened around 3 years of age. It was trial and error, but we figured it out and made decisions accordingly. Of course, sugar affects all children to some degree.
Disciplining - Depending on your child’s age, of course, time-out is usually a good first step toward allowing emotions to settle down. It enables you to detach as well and catch your breath while getting your thoughts in order before addressing the situation. Allowing a child to settle him or herself in a quiet location is an important part of processing emotions. Sometimes children fall asleep in their rooms because they are exhausted from the meltdown. Hitting a younger sibling or talking disrespectful to you are not permissible options for handling strong emotions. Stop, call time-out; send your child to his or her room without showing anger. Act in a matter-of-fact manner. Disciple and discipline after putting the emotions on ‘ice,’ appealing to your child’s heart as you train in righteousness. This takes time and disrupts schedules, but this is what God calls us to do. God disciplines those He loves, and you must do the same. Make sure your child offers an apology from the heart, if warranted. Train a better way to handle next time; give a consequence if the situation calls for one. The hardest, but most necessary part, is being consistent in this!
And while your children are resting or napping, you should rest also. It might be difficult for you, but resist the temptation to catch up on housework or your messages. As much as possible, guard your rest and hours of sleep like it is priority #2, second to the air you breathe. I realize that babies awaken in the middle of the night and children awaken from bad dreams and illnesses. However, whenever possible, prioritize your sleep habits and rest time. This is crucial to becoming the mom you want to be. Lack of sleep impairs your judgment, making even basic solutions seem overwhelming, and it drains your patience. Read God’s Word; fill your heart with His truth and love so that love overflows to your husband and children.
Browsing books or entertaining self in the bedroom or separate location – train your children by setting a timer. If this is hard for your child, start with 5 minutes, then add minutes incrementally until you get to 30 minutes. Do not entertain your child every minute; out of boredom comes creative play. Allow for this! Your child also needs space from siblings, squelching squabbles.
Take the time to practice instituting these routines and rhythms. It will be hard at first and then it gets much easier. Ask teachers at the beginning of the school-year what their first 2-3 weeks are like and the response will be one word: exhausting. Why? Because they are giving reminders as this takes patience and practice! You will be doing the same as you establish your summer routines.
Summer – an opportunity to make memories as you spend time with your children – free from carpools and rushed schedules, hopefully! Routines are good; overly scheduled days are not. I am so thankful that my mother trained me in this area when it came to not overscheduling. I would say this was my mother’s super-power and yet, she cooked from scratch, grew a garden, reared five children, and served her husband while carving out down-time most afternoons in the summer. She taught by example. In this day and time, one needs to eliminate choices. Life was much simpler then, so it was easier to manage. If possible, perhaps we can uncomplicate our lives, too!
