Trust and Obey
I am quite sure you are familiar with the passage in Ephesians 6:1 which says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” But do you know the next three verses? V. 2 says, “Honor your Father and Mother (which is the first commandment with a promise); V. 3 says, “So that it may go well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” And then V. 4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” One word to Dads: When you are home, be in charge as the leader in the home, and ask your wife how you might segway into the family scene and help her. Dad, ensure that when Mom gives a directive, the children obey. Follow up with the child, if necessary, and do not allow any sassing or tone of disrespect to your wife. This is HUGE! Words and tone matter.
I love the old hymns. The chorus of ‘Trust and Obey’ emphasizes the aforementioned passage. “Trust and obey for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.” Children are most joyful when they obey their parents because their life will go well. Perhaps in the moment a child might not like what the parent instructs, but in the heart of every child, obedience brings joy and blessing. Share the entire verse from Ephesians with your child and sing the refrain of the hymn. As my children got older, I used to say, “You can choose to not like what I instruct you to do, but you cannot choose to not do it.”
Here are a few tips as you posture for summer and year-round, for that matter.
Conduct yourself with confidence; be the one in charge, like our Redeemer teachers. Know the purpose of your directive; know your plan. Know that you are always acting in the best interest of your child and the situation. Be the authority, not the friend.
Offer few words. “Put on your shoes.” It’s time for you to_____________.” Do not ask; do not finish with “okay?” Use a tone of voice that is assured and expects obedience. Have you noticed what we call a teacher voice or tone? It works. My husband used to accuse me of bringing home that voice from school. Good for children, not for hubs!
After giving the directive, turn and walk away briskly. Later, inspect your expectation.
On the Redeemer website, www.redeemerdayschool.org there is a tab marked Parent Mentoring. Click on that to find three helpful resources: Parenting, Family Worship, and Summer. The Summer Resource tab will give you helpful ideas for these upcoming days.
When your child is disobedient, give a consequence. Afterward, discuss how it went. “Did you obey Mommy?” “No.” And because you did not obey, “Did your life go well?” “No.” Repeat as necessary!
Stay consistent and keep at this for three-five solid days to break any old habits. Role play, practice. You may need to stay home and focus only on this at the beginning of your summer. That is OKAY and worth the effort. Be patient with yourself and do not be frustrated with do-overs. Teachers take the first three-four weeks of school to practice routines and expectations. But they do not lower the bar of obedience just because it takes a little longer. Neither should you! Trust God to give you wisdom and the strength to follow-through on the mission of obedience. Obey His Word on behalf of your children as you teach them how to obey you, the parent, as God’s authority in their lives.
