The Marriage Relationship – A Recap of Dr. Lowe’s ‘Coffee and Learn’ Message
We were blessed to have Dr. Lowe speak at our last coffee and learn. I will do my best to hit his highlights for those of you unable to attend. He began by sharing about his Australian colleague’s viewpoint of America’s marriages: “Men love their jobs; women love their children.” Intriguing, right?
What’s the problem with this? It doesn’t say anything about the husband-wife relationship. Another problem with this: What happens when the children leave home? Also, friendships are good, but they are not substitutes for intimacy between spouses. Biblical oneness between the husband and wife is a foundational stone to marriage and the family. Seeking after our jobs or even our children is not as God designed for marital intimacy.
It is like two trains going down the rails on parallel tracks – headed in the same direction, yes, but independent from one another. Rather, our goal should be to engage in the marriage relationship by riding on the same train, not parallel trains. Give that some thought.
The Bible gives us a picture of the husband-wife relationship in 1 Peter 3: 1-8, instructing us with details about God’s design for creating a marriage whereby the man and woman are riding on the same train within the marriage relationship. I encourage you to read this passage together. The world does not teach this hierarchy, and we see what a mess this secular buy-in philosophy has made of marriages. Dr. Lowe wasn’t quite that emphatic. He had a kinder, gentler approach; yet solid biblically!
When Dr. Lowe was asking for Rachel’s hand in marriage, he met with her father. At that time Dr. Lowe was getting his doctorate in chemistry. His future father-in-law told him this: “I want you to study Rachel, to get to know and understand her in the same way you are studying chemistry.” What a beautiful gift her dad gave their marriage. Dads, this might be something worth duplicating when you’re asked for your daughter’s hand in marriage one day - asking your future son-in-law to study your daughter and
really understand her.
Dr. Lowe encouraged men to identify with the household; in other words, get involved with all things at home, especially seeing yourself as a vessel of service to your wife and family. He encouraged men to show honor to the ‘weaker’ since she is a woman, as it states in verse 7. Think of her as ‘bone china.’ Think of your legacy not in terms of monetary, but in terms of co-heir with your wife in the gifting of life – an eternal life.
Dr. Lowe took us to Matthew 6: 23 where Jesus is speaking, “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or drink, or what you wear.” Then, we are to build on that. Matthew 6:21, “Where your treasure is there is where your heart is also.” Where is your heart, dear parents? What can derail the train?
One additional note that Dr. Lowe mentioned to me which he didn’t get to speak on was the end of verse 7 (the idea of prayer) – that husbands’ prayers are hindered when they don’t honor their wives. What an extraordinary challenge this is! It shows us how important the husband-and-wife relationship is to the Lord. Our relationship with each other affects our relationship with God! Extraordinary, challenging, but ultimately very exciting!
Our focus as parents: the Gift and Grace of LIFE – here and now and for all eternity.
