Disciplining Children is a Requirement of Biblical Parenting
Recently, one of our Redeemer parents sent me an article with data from the General Social Survey which stated the following: “Our data shows that the percentage of U.S. parents selecting “to obey” as one of the two most important things for children to learn fell from 40% in 1986 to18% in 2024. Is that surprising? If obedience is not valued by parents, it will not be required of children.
Furthermore, as Jonathan Rothwell wrote in his article entitled “The Parenting Trap,” evaluating parenting trends and how they have changed over the years, he stated, “permissive parenting, an absence of rules and expectations, has provided the ideal environment for a screen-based childhood to take hold and to compound the prevailing mental health challenges of adolescence.” If obedience is not valued (only18% in 2024), then rules are no longer set and enforced. This permissive parenting trend has exacerbated the effects of screens in adolescence. Interesting.
Nonetheless, if we look at Hebrews 12, we can see godly principles that will guide us in our parenting and if followed, will help us to withstand the cultural tide of permissive parenting.
VS 5 – Discipline is essential and meant to encourage.
VS 6 – The Lord disciplines out of love. Therefore, as parents, we too should discipline as an expression of love, even if it doesn’t ‘feel’ like love. The Truth is this: Love begets discipline.
VS 7 – It is for discipline that you endure. Some days require more endurance than others! Discipline requires tenacity and perhaps the setting aside of other less important things at that particular moment in time. We make time for what we value.
VS 8 – If your children are without discipline, are they really your children? Correcting your children builds in their little hearts a sense of security and belonging.
VS 9 – When earthly fathers (mothers) administer consequences for crossing the boundaries, respect is stirred in your child’s heart. Taking time to set boundaries and communicate expectations and then inspecting what you expect, shows love and the integrity of your word.
VS 10 – God disciplines us for our good; likewise, we should discipline our children in order to develop godly character and obedience to authority, which will be for their good.
VS 11 – All discipline for the moment is painful (both for the child and parent), but afterwards it produces the fruit of right living and peace. Soft-hearted mamas, especially, must work at this.
VS 12 – Discipline requires strength to follow through on your word with consistency.
If you heard “Miss Jill’s” testimony, you might recall the time when her dad spoke an apology to her saying, “Your mother and I have not been training and disciplining you properly.” And then he asked for her forgiveness. Jill happily thought YES! However, he continued by saying, “We are still going to discipline you while also making sure to be consistent with follow-through and consequences.” So, if this resonates with you, then do the same with your children. Consistency is KEY!
What a responsibility we have to discipline our children biblically. What we need is for Jesus to overflow in our lives, as we abide in the Vine, so that we can discipline our children with love and consistency. Pray daily for wisdom and the strength to disciple your children in love. God will answer your prayer!
